Standards for Morality

Last night in my dream I was on a second date with a boy. We decided to watch a movie, and before the opening credits were done we were cuddling and kissing and so on. We decided we should set some limits to keep things from going further than they should. His idea? Just make sure we sleep in separate beds every night. While this is obviously something we should do, I was more concerned with all that could happen before we got anywhere near a bed. I stated my rules: no tongue, and no kissing while lying down. (I might have suggested another rule, but I can't remember it right now.) After saying this, he got really sad. Even me trying to kiss him didn't cheer him up. Pretty soon he wasn't even sitting next to me, and there were plenty of people (siblings, parents, friends) wandering in and out of the room. I walked out wondering how me setting limits like that could make someone so sad, wondering if there wasn't someone out there who respects both me and the commandments of God enough to have standards and set rules to ensure that we live by them.

I often wonder the same thing when I'm awake. I do think it's a good idea to have rules to make it easier to keep the law of chastity. I like the rules I suggested to my date in the dream, and additionally, to always be in a place that's public enough that other people could be there (other people don't necessarily need to be there, but just the fact that they could walk in on you at any moment should be enough to keep one from doing too much). Sometimes I think I should even have more rules than that, but I'm undecided as to what exactly they should be.

The question then becomes do I want those rules because I do not trust myself, or because I do not trust whoever boy I am with to respect me. Is it the lack of trust that made the boy in my dream so sad? I remember a stake conference where the stake president forcefully told the young men that any girl they date should have no fear of being disrespected by what physical affection is shown, because of the control that comes from the inside, and that the same goes for the girls, we should have enough control from within to not make anyone else fear or be uncomfortable to be with us. I felt that come to me like a reprimand. I don't know if this answers my question of who I don't trust though. Either way, surely there is someone somewhere that feels the same as me.