The Water-slide and the Alligator

Last night the dream was about a water slide. Not a water park, because there was only one slide. We were having a ward party there, with lots of ward members lined up on the stairs of the tower leading up to the slide. Several of us girls were in mermaid suits - by mermaid suits, I mean these things that you stepped into and pulled up and put your arms through, leaving you looking like you were wearing a long sleeved shirt and had a mermaid tail. We went down the slide in this. Throughout the dream I slowly took off more and more of it, until I was in just a tankini (perfectly normal wear for a water slide), which I kept tying tighter and tighter.

Later in the dream more people were there besides just ward members. I took a little black boy on the slide with me. (Don't be offended, I'm not racist, that's just the easiest way to describe it.) On one bend of the slide, there was an alligator, which I had seen before when I went down the slide, and I thought it was a real alligator, although it hadn't ever tried to bite me. This time, however, it did bite my hand, and follow us along down the slide, though it didn't bite me hard enough to draw blood. It wasn't until after we were at the bottom of the slide that I realized it was a fake alligator, part of the ride.

The Hotel Utah

In my dream last night, I was living in Salt Lake City. I know I was living in Salt Lake City because 1. it was cold and snowy in the winter and 2. the Hotel Utah was part of it. Now I know that the Hotel Utah is now the Joseph Smith Memorial Building, but in my dream it was still a hotel, as you will see.

In the beginning of my dream, I was walking outside in the cold/snow with a guy I am dating, and our seminary teacher. (I have no idea who the seminary teacher is, but she was our seminary teacher.) We were talking about the seminary class, and the distractions and disruptions that occur there. I felt bad, and hoped that my boyfriend occasionally putting his arm around me in class wasn't one of the distractions, so I asked our seminary teacher if us dating was a distraction, or if anything I did was a distraction. She said, no, I was one of the least distracting things in the class, even with a boyfriend. This made me feel better. I left them outside and entered the Hotel Utah.

Inside was very narrow, with lots of people trying to get rooms at the front desk. Everyone, myself included, was wearing clothes from the late 1800s. I met up with one of my cousins, who was trying to get us a room. I asked him if we would need two rooms, and he said he didn't know, but if there was only one bed in the room I could have it and he'd just sleep on something on the floor. I thought that was very nice of him. I remember walking up a narrow set of stairs to another landing to try and find our room.

Later, for whatever reason that I'm not sure of, we ended up not needing the room. We still decided to eat dinner at the restaurant that is in the hotel. (This restaurant was nothing like the actual restaurants that are now in the Joseph Smith Memorial Building on the top level - everything was still narrow and old fashioned.) I was looking forward to eating a Caesar salad, a real one with anchovies in the dressing. (That's what makes it real, in case you didn't know. And not just in my dream - look it up.) I don't know if I ever got to eat it in the dream.

Swimming Pools and City Living

So my dreams were pretty intense last night, and I woke up and tried to keep dwelling on them so that I'd remember them long enough to write here, but still a lot of it has slipped away.

I know at one point there were three swimming pools in my back yard - ok, maybe they weren't all swimming pools, they may have been more like hot tubs, but whatever. One was under the picnic table, like you took the glass table top off and underneath there was water that you could sit in. I'm pretty sure that my siblings and I all had friends over and were trying to be quiet because our parents were upstairs asleep.

Another dream involved my parents discussing the possibility of us moving downtown L.A. for the summer since everyone in the family would be working there, and how expensive that would be, and the burden of living in an apartment as opposed to a house. I was excited, I've lived in small apartments in Chicago and knew we could handle it.

Large Bedrooms and More Legos

So now that I've waited so long once again most of my dream is forgotten.

I do remember that my family and I were living in a house where my sister and I had to share a room, but it was a big room with a walk in closet, its own bathroom, and a fireplace. Mark (my youngest brother) was a lot younger in the dream than he is now, he was probably 2 or 3, because I could pick him up and carry him when he fell asleep on the carpet. Once again Legos were everywhere (what is it with me and Lego dreams lately? It seems they happen a lot...). My cousins were there, and I think we were throwing a party, at least we were getting out plastic silverware like we were.

Little Tidbits

All I remember from last night's dreams are little tidbits here and there.

I was driving to a YSA event... I managed to sit between two guys that were interested in me, and of course the one that I liked more ignored me, while the other guy talked to me a lot...

My family was living in some warehouse or something. We had lots of Legos everywhere. I had a couple of Star Wars Lego sets (what else?) and one giant Star Wars Lego set...

Then I was at our stake center with a bunch of people from the mission, and a lot of other people too, it seemed like we were waiting for something. We weren't missionaries anymore... One guy had a haircut that made him look like a little boy... One of the families that one of my companions was really close with was there and she was excited to see them...

Yeah, not much, is there?

You're Getting Married Instead of What?

So last night I had a dream that my brother, who just turned his mission papers in, got married before he got his mission call. I was so upset. I couldn't believe that after all the preparation for a mission he's done that he wouldn't go, especially when he was so close. No one else in my dream seemed particularly happy about it, but I was the only one who was so distraught over it. I was so upset that when I woke up from the dream, I still felt tense and tired, like I hadn't slept well at all.

Now I know that I said that I wasn't going to post my interpretations in this blog, but I posted a ton of thoughts yesterday, and am going to do so again today.

I was thinking about the dream while getting myself breakfast (a bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios, what else?), and it hit me. What if the dream isn't about my brother at all, but about me? Is somewhere deep inside me afraid that if I get married and decide not to practice law but have kids that I'll have wasted an education?

I don't think the dream is saying that I shouldn't get married and have kids instead of practice law, and I don't think it's saying that I shouldn't practice law instead of getting married and having kids, I think it was letting me know that this is still a topic that I am unsure about, that I should think a lot more about before making either decision.

Standards for Morality

Last night in my dream I was on a second date with a boy. We decided to watch a movie, and before the opening credits were done we were cuddling and kissing and so on. We decided we should set some limits to keep things from going further than they should. His idea? Just make sure we sleep in separate beds every night. While this is obviously something we should do, I was more concerned with all that could happen before we got anywhere near a bed. I stated my rules: no tongue, and no kissing while lying down. (I might have suggested another rule, but I can't remember it right now.) After saying this, he got really sad. Even me trying to kiss him didn't cheer him up. Pretty soon he wasn't even sitting next to me, and there were plenty of people (siblings, parents, friends) wandering in and out of the room. I walked out wondering how me setting limits like that could make someone so sad, wondering if there wasn't someone out there who respects both me and the commandments of God enough to have standards and set rules to ensure that we live by them.

I often wonder the same thing when I'm awake. I do think it's a good idea to have rules to make it easier to keep the law of chastity. I like the rules I suggested to my date in the dream, and additionally, to always be in a place that's public enough that other people could be there (other people don't necessarily need to be there, but just the fact that they could walk in on you at any moment should be enough to keep one from doing too much). Sometimes I think I should even have more rules than that, but I'm undecided as to what exactly they should be.

The question then becomes do I want those rules because I do not trust myself, or because I do not trust whoever boy I am with to respect me. Is it the lack of trust that made the boy in my dream so sad? I remember a stake conference where the stake president forcefully told the young men that any girl they date should have no fear of being disrespected by what physical affection is shown, because of the control that comes from the inside, and that the same goes for the girls, we should have enough control from within to not make anyone else fear or be uncomfortable to be with us. I felt that come to me like a reprimand. I don't know if this answers my question of who I don't trust though. Either way, surely there is someone somewhere that feels the same as me.